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In my thoughts I very often come back to one topic...
It's about the goals we set in life. We all have our dreams and aspirations, but also we try to live up to expectations of others. So it is a big conflict - living up to someone's expectations very often interferes with things we really want to do or achieve, things we quite often dream about. Has it ever happened to you?
What if we leave everything behind and follow a DREAM? Is it too childish or too egoistic maybe? Is the final goal worth making a sacrifice this big? Does leaving all behind mean one is strong? Or is it on the contrary a weakness - the ability to make sacrifices for others being a strength?
As we get older we limit ourselves to certain things within our comfort zone, we conform with our reality and we stop striving for more, or even thinking what we'd really like to be in this life. We are too 'experienced' for believing there are no limits, that we can climb Mount Everest, that WE CAN CONQUER THE WORLD...
This is sad, isn't it? Are we too afraid of making mistakes? But without them what would shape our lives? When we are children all our life's about the pursuit of fun... But then we grow up and learn to be cautious... So when has it stopped being fun and started being scary..?
15 comments:
I'm pretty impressed by what you wrote here, i really find myself in this, and it's happening right now in my life.
A lot of people around me talk about, responsability, being mature, not take risks, think to others, make money, live an adult life, don't make foolish decisions at my age, wich is 27.
On one side i have to admit that all those argumentations sometimes seem pretty logical to me too.
But on the other side i realize, as you wrote, that growing up is becoming a progressive limitation of every dream a continue avoiding dangers and risks.
And that is something that is heavy on my heart and soul right now, since i still did not choose one of the two ways.
The irony is that when you are young you have more energy, more opportunities, more fun, more hope...but you're too young to accomplish aything.
On the contrary when you grow and you could have all the possibilites to do really something, you start being mind-limited.
It's nature.
I think that people should be so lucky to find someone and share their life with people who are open-minded and willing to risk.
Because if you are the only one like that and you are surronded by people who stop you...it becomes really really hard: you start asking yourself if you're selfish or immature...it's tough.
My opinion is we should keep open as much possibilites as we can as long as we can. And risk. And live 100%.
But as i said, if i'd find someone who support me in this it would me far more easier to do it.
Loved so much this post and what Matteo wrote above is so true.
Wonderful post and great questions...I do not think that growing up means a limitations of your dreams, as Matteo says, I have too a son age 27, he is an artist and is trying to find his way in the world, to keep a mature relationship with his fianceè...Things I think a lot of young people do. My advice? You as Matteo and my son, are young...Follow your dreams, grow up with them, be cautious that little bit you need to have your feet on the ground, learn to know you limitations; but yes, be a little egoist! That will help you to cut the umbilical cord. But never ever stop dreaming!
Juanita ("la vieja de la montaña", as my son call me!)
Very important subject but it takes tοo long time to talk and write (and of course to think). Besides, there also the limits of the blog, such as the distant communication, the different language sometimes, the limited space and time, and things like that... Anyway, i admire that you put such items in a conversation eventhough it is through the net...
I agree with Diatton there might be sometimes some language barrier, but, we all speak good english i think :) so i'm happy we can discuss this kind of topic.
I think every occasion to talk about this kind of things is always worth.
In answer to Juanita, i totally agree with you but i want to make myself more clear.
I don't think generally that growing up mean limitate ourselves.
I was talking based on my experience and considering what Olga wrote.
I totally agree we should dream a do what we want...but from you post Juanita i think i can understand that you are supportive of the life your son is doing.
And that's exactly what i wrote before.
My point was that often i happen that you have more "limited" friends, parents that want you to be a doctor or a manger or whatever...and when this is the athmosphere around you it can become hard.
Of course everyone should do what he thinks is best for himself, but opinions of others can hit you hard: expecially when they come from people you love, people you spent your life with.
That's all i was saying.
:)
I love your thoughts on this topic and it's great that you are sharing them, trying to provoke a discussion.
I was in such a deep depression last year. I felt like someone has programmed me like those car navigators what I should do, what my road is and I was just driving on it. It felt so empty and meaningless. And I really needed something to remind me that I should actually live my life, that I should enjoy it, after all it's mine and no one else. I don't think it is selfish to do the things you love, to pursue your own goals and dreams, I think you owe it to people.
I read a book recently that is probably one of the best I have ever read - The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand and what the author truly made me realize is that the only way to live a life full of meaning, to help others is to do something you think is meaningful. Otherwise your life is just empty and when it is empty you have nothing to give. After all the most respectable men are those living their life with passion.
Oh, and one more thing - it is very easy to hide behind the phrase "that's for the best" or "that is the right thing to do". No, the right thing to do is the thing your heart tells you. Even if you make a mistake it was for the right reasons and when you look back you can say with pride that you chose to do so and you believed this is what you should have done.
Hope those thoughts you have aren't making you sad in any way and I am wishing you a wonderful day, full of meaning and passion and love! xo
Guys, thank you so much for this discussion - you all have very interesting observations and points of view. I'm really glad I managed to touch upon a subject you feel is important for you as well...
Matteo, I understand your point about feeling demotivated when one meets with disapproval and little acceptance from close people around. Then I think is quite natural for a person to start thinking that s/he might be wrong... One needs to be really strong and positive about what s/he wants to achieve, otherwise it would be just easier to listen to the majority and follow their lead.
On the other hand you mention that it would help to share life with someone open-minded who will understand your ambition and have the same attitude. But I'm just thinking... to share life with someone - anyone - you need to give a part of you - your time first of all but also you sacrifice other things for another person naturally. And then it might become a vicious circle where you again find yourself limited because of that, not even in a bad way, but still limited...
So is being alone the solution in this case? Is this a way you ensure you remain true to yourself and follow your goals, explore life and have fun..? But another thing is the majority of us - people are 'social animals' and we want to share the good and the bad with others and for that we also need to make sacrifices. I guess I came back to where I stared :) But to me it started to seem that being alone and pursuing your goals is a strength but not many people can be alone and actually handle it and enjoy it...
Iva, I loved how positive you sound :) We do need a push sometimes to realize that life is beautiful and we are all young and lucky to have so many things to choose from and so much more to discover ahead of us. I'm not sad - I've been thinking about this for a while now and was interested in bringing this up to see what others think. In terms of following your heart, I found it tricky at times - I guess my heart wasn't very agreeable and had various controversial ideas... and it's not easy to choose sometimes (although it is good to have a choice!). Again, I'm probably thinking too much about this now... In general this is the idea - to remain true to yourself!
Good night, everyone, and thanks as always for stopping by...
Well, i was not being specific when i wrote "share with someone".
I was not referring in particular to love, girlfriend or wife...i really just meant a person, who can be a friend, a girlfriend, a relative...anyone.
The point is someone who understands you.
But really, someone who feels the same or anyway even if he/she doesn't agree with you on something, that doesn't judge you or advice you to do something.
As i said, someone who has not always "answers", and that is willing to try to know you and do things with you.
Regarding what you said, about sharing something with someone and losing again your "freedom" and being limited.
My freedom is not doing whatever i want.
My freedom is to choose happily what i want.
So i can also choose to limit myself in something for someone.
As i can choose not to do it.
The point is not, in my opinion, being alone and without duties and follow every dream you have leaving everyone out.
The point is doing of course what you dream, possibily with someone who understands you and encourages you and not always fighting against everyone. ^^
I don't say one needs to be alone and leave everyone out to follow what he really feels is important for him. I just say sometimes it is not possible to combine the two things. A simple example would be you willing to move out of the country to work somewhere else and the person you are with not willing to move with you - or the other way round. So what I mean is then a decision needs to be made which of the dreams you want to follow...
Yes i understand what you mean.
I think there is no answer to that, life is always a bet you always have to choose one way or another.
It would be nice being lucky and find the way to get things going along.
But again, it' better finding someone who understands you even if then you can have difficulties rather than not i think.
Being alone can be good but not your entire life i think.
Hi Olga, Dzien’ dobry! :)
It’s often said that policemen’s son want to become an actor and actors’ son want to become a policeman.
How about in this case? There was a guy who liked poetry from the bottom of his heart. But, his neighbors kindly advised him to become a doctor. Which was the best choice for him? To pursue his dream or to give it up?
I think there isn’t the correct answer. If he becomes a poet and can earn enough money to live, it’s one of the correct answer. If not, his choice is wrong－his wife and children may starve to death.
But, we can’t say if we could achieve our dream or not. So, our plan has always some risks. The most important thing we have to do is, I think, to realize our ability objectively.
Pleasant dreams! :D
Hello SkyTrail, i totally agree with you.
I was thinking about Murakami Haruki, a japanese writer i really like.
He did his university, but then just opened a pub...and then left the pub and started to write.
As you said in this case he made the right choise, did what he wanted and earned money.
But what if he was a bad writer?
How would his life be now?
Probably not so good...
There's no answer...every choice is risky.
Oh bye the way, Merry Christmas to everyone!
Hi Olga! I just wanted to wish you a very merry Christmas! xxx
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