cold IS relative

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You know what is happening when people get too tired of constant cold? They start making jokes about it :). Here is one from today (I loved it!) and because so many of you are from the countries mentioned I thought it would be nice to translate it from Polish and share. Of course these are all stereotypes :P - so no one should really get offended!

COLD is a relative concept:

It's + 20°C: Greeks start putting on sweaters

It's + 15°C: Jamaicans turn on the central heating

It's + 10°C: Americans start shivering. Russians crop cucumbers at their dachas.

It's + 5°C: One can see one's breath. Italian cars stop obeying their drivers. Norwegians go swimming in lakes.

It's 0°C: In the US water freezes. In Russia water becomes thicker.

It's -5°C: French cars stop obeying their drivers.

It's - 15°C: Your cat insists on sleeping in bed with you. Norwegians start putting on sweaters.

It's - 17.9°C: House owners in Oslo turn on the central heating. Russians go to dacha for the last time this season.

It's - 20°C: American cars won't start.

It's - 25°C: German cars won't start. Jamaicans are extinct.

It's - 30°C: The authorities raise a debate about the homeless. Your cat is sleeping in your pyjamas.

It's - 35°C: Too cold to think. Japanese cars won't start.

It's - 40°C: You are planning to stay in a hot bath for 2 weeks. Swedish cars stop obeying their drivers.

It's - 42°C: Public transport in Europe comes to a complete halt. Russians are eating ice-cream outside.

It's - 45°C: Greeks are extinct. The authorities actually start doing something about the homeless.

It's - 50°C: Your eye-lids freeze while you blink. In Alaska people start closing vent doors while taking shower.

It's - 60°C: Polar bears migrate to the South.

It's - 70°C: Hell freezes.

It's - 73°C: Finnish special services evacuate Santa Clause from Lapland. Russians put on their fur caps with ear flaps.

It's - 80°C: Russians are not taking off their mittens even while pouring vodka.

It's - 114°C: Ethyl alcohol freezes. Russians are furious.


SkyTrail said...

Hello Olga!  Прывітаньне!
I like these funny jokes. :D Have you ever heard like this? It’s about Thai people.
It’s +32℃. They say it’s too hot.
It’s +31℃. They say it’s a nice day.
It’s +30℃. They say it’s too cold.
But, as you’ve written in your blog, people can live in so much different environments!
Пакуль :)

Michela said...

Ha ha ha! That was brilliant Olga!
It's -2°C this morning in Venice..and my car was just perfect this morning! :)

Floss said...

Fantastic joke - Son 1, who is already back from his half day at school, wants to know what I'm laughing at so he's coming to look now! French cars do seem to go into ditches with remarkable determination once we have snow and ice. It's funny to someone who used to live in the north of England. Hysterical to a Russian, no doubt!

Juanita Tortilla said...

Oh this is FUNNY! Thanks for the good laugh, hehehehe... :)

Diatton said...

I liked the fact that you combined the temperature by referring in many countries.

By the way, when i was writting this comment, i heard your blog music player playing the song "Under My Sensi-Boozoo Bojou". I got crazy with that song!!! I come from Blues, so i like the minimalistic sound, you know...

Finally, i really liked your post, Olga. I saw too much inspiration in it...

Μαριανα said...

I too liked the song boozoo bojou so much! for the temperatures, as a greek I would say that it is absolutely normal to put on sweaters with 20 degree!!! :pp

Diatton said...

I am so glad every time i see another greek person here...

jane said...


Sylwia Dziuba said...

Totally hilarious!!! immediately showed it to my husband, he loved it too :) :)