How To Use Fear To Your Advantage

This post has been published as an article titled 'How To Use Fear To Your Advantage' on TurnPoint educational start up website. You can check it out here.

There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.
Paulo Coelho

How often have you refused to follow your dreams because you were too afraid you were destined to fail? If I tell you the truth about myself, the answer will be: too often. If I am completely honest – every single time.

After a couple of failed attempts to start doing something different to earn my living I started to observe a certain pattern in my behavior.

I had spent several years working for large financial services companies. The first couple of years were quite fulfilling because the whole experience was a huge learning curve for me. After my first year I got promoted, then after a while I got promoted again and ended up managing three regional teams spread across different locations. I had a big successful corporate career yet I sensed something fundamentally important was missing. Somehow I felt I was destined for more than this and I wasn’t excited about the prospect of living a corporate life for years to come.

The pattern I fell into would go like this:

Getting tired of the routine and the direction where my life was going
Spending time thinking about what other things I could do and getting excited
Fearing I would fail and ending up persuading myself it made sense to continue doing what I do and sticking to my rut.
I didn’t believe after being an employee for my entire professional life I could succeed in a different capacity. After all starting something new seemed risky and I had a lot to lose.

Does this story sound familiar to you?

My situation would repeat itself. Month after month, year after year. Finally I understood I was simply losing time. I have lost so much time I could have devoted to pursuing my goals, following my dreams finding my true passion. Finally realizing that this time is lost forever made me REALLY angry. So I promised myself, to never ever give up on my dreams again and decided to look at my fear more closely to understand it better.

Physical and Mental Fear

The primary purpose of fear is to help us escape physical harm, it is an evolutionary mechanism. If you look at fear of imminent danger (a car being about to hit us or an animal attack) it is completely different from the fear of, say, public speaking. The first one is physical fear – a reaction of our body to real danger, the second one is mental or ‘social’ fear, it is self-perceived. The first one can switch on a ‘superhero mode’ in you by allowing you for example to run as fast in face of danger as you never thought you could. However this adrenaline rush – this biological reaction of your body – won’t be helpful when you speak in front of an audience.

About 99% of our fears today are the so-called social fears. You spend too much time worrying about what others think, that your plan will not work, you will not earn enough by doing what you like, your proposal will not be accepted, you will not get a raise, won’t be promoted, will become a laughing stock, no one will like you, etc. We think these are the situations to be afraid of, but the truth is we are not in danger – all these fears are only in our heads. And we waste enormous amount of energy to maintain and feed them.

Strategies for Overcoming Fear

Why overcome fear in the first place? By doing what you are afraid of you will unlock your potential, you will see your goals more clearly, you will get additional energy and finally – you will stop being afraid.

– Split your fear into simple steps

Example goal: get your article published by a magazine. Initially my goal seemed pretty big and scary. But in reality there was nothing scary about writing my first article (I actually enjoyed it), neither was I afraid to think of a place I wanted to send it to. Same applied to writing a letter to the editor. Same went for the act of pressing ‘Send’ button. If you think of it, there was hardly anything to be afraid of in the first place. This will be the case with most of the fears we face.

- Apply game strategies

Fool your fear, pretend you are someone else who wouldn’t be afraid in the situation. Imagine you are Richard Branson about to communicate your recent decision to the staff and go make that call you’ve been dreading so long. Would R. Branson have any trouble making the call? Of course not! Feel that boost of confidence already? Because what is funny can’t be dangerous.

Play with it, imagine yourself as a commander-in-chief, president, crown-prince, humanoid, or better yet – yourself after achieving success.

- Think less, do more

Stop thinking about how you expect things to turn out and how difficult it would be to achieve that ideal state. Your mind is your enemy here. Trust your intuition and start taking steps towards achieving your goal. Step by step you will see many opportunities opening up for you when you have coped with fear.

Use Fear to Your Advantage

It’s natural for us to have certain fears in our lives. Fear can be a good indication on what areas of your life to work on. Instead of constantly trying to avoid fear it might be well worth challenging yourself and letting it work for you. Make yourself, possibly with help of close friends or people you trust, work through some of these fears.

There is a huge source of energy hidden behind your fear – all this energy you spent on being afraid, over thinking, being hard on yourself. The only way to release it is to direct yourself to the source of your fear – by doing what you are afraid of. I wouldn’t have been writing this article if I hadn’t overcome my fear of not being published. Who would have thought I can actually write something meaningful? Turns out – everyone, except for me :).

You never know what the outcomes might be. The end result could be some new-found success and passions in your life that you never would have had if you had not faced the fear. Or some new opportunities opening up as you explore and expand your boundaries.

You can start experimenting with your fear by following these simple steps:

– list the things you are afraid of

– make a plan on how you will face some of your fears

– turn your plan into reality!

– see what happens

And remember: you are not the only one who has fears: everyone is afraid. The difference is some are scared and do nothing while others are scared and do loads.

The choice belongs to you.

Written in collaboration with Svetlana Pokrevskaya

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My Experiment With Minimalism: TO-DO LIST AND MY ENVIRONMENT CLEAR OUT

This article is part three of the post series on minimalism. You can view the previous parts here.

part 1: My Experiment With Minimalism: HOW IT ALL BEGAN

part 2: My Experiment With Minimalism: SPACE CLEAR OUT

Here is an update on the journey I started in April, in the attempt to get rid of all the unnecessary things, plans and unhealthy interactions that were making my life too cluttered and stressful.
Having got rid of many things, I got this great feeling of lightness and freedom and felt I got more energized - especially being at home and enjoying its newly organized state. It is now no secret to me that I had simply been wasting too much of my energy worrying about things which were on the way. The whole exercise of reducing my possessions came really handy and helpful. You can read more about it here.

TO-DO LIST
In my newly energized state I still felt that I had piles of things on my to-do list. The thought of it alone quite often made me very nervous and fidgety. I felt it was high time to do something to stop that panicky feeling, which was helping me to achieve nothing. So I made a pact with myself: there is just so much you can do. You can’t increase the number of hours in a day. But what you can do is accept it and try to organize yourself better.

So I sat down and made a list of all the things I needed to do. All of them. Everything I could think of – from framing those photos I wanted to hang in the kitchen for so long and calling friends who moved far away, to learning how to make risotto and sewing on my jacket’s missing buttons. To my surprise, the list had an end :) – and there were slightly over a 100 items on the list. It wasn’t that bad!

I also spotted a pattern - there were things on my list I wanted to do for ages – take a course, attend a lecture, read this and that book, listen to that program, watch that movie, but never did – for various reasons. This made me realize that if I don’t do anything about these points now, they will keep being a heavy load on my back and won’t bring me any joy. So without postponing it any longer I submitted an online form to sign up for the coaching course I always wanted to attend and then crossed out all the other things from the list I felt I wouldn’t be doing in the nearest future. Maybe I will later come back to them. Maybe not. But stopping to think about them made life so much easier. And my list got much shorter!

And then the most amazing thing happened. My whole ‘to-do’ situation wasn’t looking as catastrophic as I had previously thought, and this made me feel like adding bigger things to the plan. My dreams. Things I always wanted to do but never thought I could actually embark on because of how busy I was.

This was the biggest and the most PRECIOUS discovery of the whole to-do list clear out exercise. Why would I only think of the things I ‘have to do’ as worth mentioning on my plan? Why would I keep dismissing the big things, which warm my heart and are the most important to me in the long-term perspective, only to say I do not have time for them? My conclusion was: I need to stop postponing my dreams!


MY ENVIRONMENT


The last point of my plan was looking at my environment. That I thought was a rather easy thing to do. Was I being wrong again?

People who know me well say I’m a rather calm and self-contained individual who avoids conflict. Yes, I do avoid conflict. Problem is I do it at any cost. When I started to think about the situations, which have a negative impact on me, I gradually came to the conclusion that I myself was responsible for creating them. What happens is because of my inability to say ‘no’ in some situations, I let things I don’t really want to happen – happen. I also let people in my life I do not necessarily want to spend my time with/on. Guilty as charged! I further realized getting rid of this habit – the reluctance of saying ‘no’ - would not be an easy and quick thing to achieve. But I’m planning to do it step by step.

First thing in changing any bad habit is acknowledging the habit exists, so the good news is, I’m already making progress :). Secondly, I decided I would be paying more attention to the situations, which make me feel uncomfortable or - even worse - I regret happened, and analyze what I should have done differently. Thirdly, acting differently when the situations repeat themselves by using some of the techniques on overcoming fear I already mastered. And situations do repeat. I couldn’t get rid of the feeling I was making the same mistake over and over again by being nice and patient. So as of today I’m starting to pay the high price for my own freedom by allowing myself to be 'ungrateful', 'crazy' or 'not well behaved'.

As I dug deeper, it turned out I also needed to work on my relationships. Even though I’m rather good-hearted by nature I realized there are a couple of people who I might still be am still holding the grudge against. Pointless thing to do, as it only accumulates bad energy. Another thing, which needs to stop very soon! I promised myself I would do this by either speaking to them or, if I don’t really deal with these people anymore, by analyzing the eventual reasons why and by letting these feelings go.

Another unexpected conclusion I arrived at during my clear out project is that I need to work on the relationship with my parents. It is so easy to take the relationships with the people closest to us for granted, but these should really be the relationships we cherish and care about most. And I can do so much more here – from being more patent to involving them in my life a little bit more. I guess it is being a mother that helped me understand this special bond between parents and children, which should never be neglected.

To tell you the truth, I was never expecting this project to influence me as much as it did and for its outcomes to go quite as deep. Again, it made it clear to me that life is a journey during which we make discoveries about ourselves and the best thing we can do is to really listen to ourselves and find the time to think about things, which are important to us.

Quick summary of my Minimalism articles series:

On Minimalism: Massive Clear Out!
On Minimalism: SPACE CLEAR OUT
On Minimalism: TO-DO LIST AND ENVIRONMENT CLEAR OUT

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My Experiment With Minimalism: SPACE CLEAR OUT

This article is part two of the post series on minimalism. You can view the part one here.

Have you ever tried to count the number of things you own? It never really crossed my mind. Up until recently. When i decided to challenge myself and do a massive spring clear out - not only of the things which i own, but of my life in general.

In this post I will be sharing some of the results hoping some of you will get inspired :).

I have started with what I thought was the easiest part - getting rid of all the unnecessary things.

God, was i looking forward to this. Yet, it resulted it wasn't that easy to let go of some things at first. Many things. Ok, MOST of them. I found myself coming up with excuses for leaving them for yet another while 'just to make sure' i'm really not going to use them anymore.

The biggest challenge was my closet. Haha, i almost came to the erroneous conclusion that it's actually a bad thing when your size doesn't change over the years, causing you to accumulate too many clothes. They all still fit and most are in great condition, yet many don't get to be worn for various reasons. While i was going through my clothes in order to pick the items I no longer need my mind came up with so many creative ways to pair and match them (which rarely happened before), I almost decided to leave everything as is, apart from this funky patterned sweater i got from my aunt and my battered Wrangler's, worn out to a degree, where they stopped providing a proper cover for my behind.

I caught myself shutting the door of my closet ready to move on to whatever was next on my list. Yet this felt wrong. So I made myself go back and reopen it.

What really helped was getting rid of the new clothes I changed my mind about and wasn't wearing - first. They were the ones that took most space - and were a constant nagging reminder of my shopping mistakes. I felt guilty i bought them and never wore, yet i couldn't make myself neither wear nor get rid of them. It only took me 5 minutes to photograph them all with my phone and another 15 to list them on e-bay. To my surprise they all sold within the next 10 days. The biggest hit was my navy blue Zara military style coat i bought on sale for 50 quid - it sold for a whooping 120 pounds. (Looks like military is back in fashion!) I know what you are thinking, no, no, I had promised myself not to buy any more clothes with the money I'd gain from the sale. You can't imagine the feeling of relief I felt after doing this clear out! I finally stopped need reproaching myself for things I bought on an impulse, and gained lots of space to comfortably fit in the things I do need.

I packed the rest of things I haven't worn this year and brought them to H&M for recycling my local charity shop. H&M has been running this clothes recycling campaign, which is fine, yet for your clothes they give you a voucher to spend for... Yes, more clothes. Not what we are looking for here!

I took pretty much the same approach with other things which were no longer used in the household. I thought I had been quite good with not accumulating stuff. Guess what, my selling list was around 40 items long! My give/throw away list was much longer. Who knew there are portals like Freecycle, where you can advertise e.g. furniture you don't need and those who do will come and take it away free of charge (they actually charge you here in the UK (a lot) for getting rid of furniture and big household appliances).

And yes, as I got into this game, it started to be fun! Surprisingly I was ready to let go of more and more things, even that designer sofa which (let's be honest) didn't really fit in our living room. I earned an unexpected amount of cash as a result of this effort and promised myself to spend the money on personal development, charity or travel.

Here are the pluses of reducing the number of things you own:

- free space to comfortably fit things you need
- no more feeling guilty for impulse purchases
- new energy resulting clear and organized spaces at home
- satisfaction of giving things away and helping others
- knowing things are in good hands and will serve a better purpose
- learning about local charities
- some extra money earned (to spend for a good cause this time)
- feeling of freedom I get from knowing I do not need many things. This is something that brings me closer to my goal of becoming location independent.

This is only the report on the first part of my experiment. Some outcomes from the clean out of my responsibilities and environment will follow next - stay tuned.

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My Experiment With Minimalism: HOW IT ALL BEGAN

I always thought about myself as a bit of a minimalist. I love minimalistic interiors - the zen places where it is easy to relax. I like it when the small things in my home are hidden away from view and are in their right places leaving my surroundings more spacious and free of clutter. I think it is simply easier to live this way - you save energy of being frustrated about the mess around you and the need to constantly clean it up.

But if I REALLY think of it, I am still very far from being able to call myself a true minimalist. That is because I own too many things.

A while ago a friend of mine was moving houses. Because he rents and because he was moving far away and had limited resources he decided that he would only need to take with him the items which he has been using over the last 6 months. He got rid of the rest - of most of his things really. And you know, he called it a very refreshing experience. Let me tell you, his move was very easy. He realized how much stuff he had accumulated which he was keeping for no reason whatsoever. He sold or gave things away. He said he got some money he channeled to better purposes or simply helped people who were in need of things he was not anymore using.

In the West we live in a society which suffers from an extreme case of consumerism. We keep buying things because we believe we need them, but is this really the case? Worst of all we fall into this vicious circle - we believe we need to WORK to be able to buy and maintain all these things - all these things we do not really need.

I have recently come across The 100 Things Challenge book and got inspired to revisit my relationship with things and do a clear out of my space and also my world. I give myself time till May 1, that's 2 weeks worth of effort.

Within the next 2 weeks I will proceed with the following 3 steps:

1) Space Clear Out

The plan is to go through all my things (clothes, cosmetics, books, CDs, household appliances, etc) and get rid of the ones I no longer use. I need to end up with really useful things I need, things that inspire me and bring joy. Storing them away doesn't count! They need to be sold on e-bay, given away or simply thrown into the bin. Bearing in mind every single thing not only occupies a bit of space but takes away a bit of my energy, I should definitely regain loads in the end!!
Rule number 1 is: Do not buy new things if the old ones can still serve you well (Why do you need 7 pairs of jeans or 5 bottles of perfume??)
Rule number 2 is: Buy good quality products which will serve you longer. Yes, this is the case when you save by spending more once.

2) To-Do List Clear Out

Remember how long you were planning to finish that book for? How long you were promising to visit your friends who moved, but never found the time? Become a sponsor for pet charity? And never found the time to go do it? How many of similar activities were accumulating in my to-do list making it long, heavy and later almost unbearable to carry. The time has come to decide what to do. There are 2 options: 1) go and do it 2) decide not to do it at all and cross it out of your to-do list. It's time to stop carrying all that load of the uncompleted tasks!

3) My Environment Clear Out

Clear out of my environment - look at all the unhealthy relations which have a negative impact on my life. Finish all the interactions which bring negative effect on me. For the ones where there are potential misunderstandings - initiate dialogue to resolve them. Learn to say 'no' when the situation requires. Allow yourself to be 'ungrateful', 'crazy' or 'not well behaved' if that is the price for freedom.

So that's for starters - I will provide updates on my progress here on this blog.

I realize I'm being slightly hypocritical talking about minimalism here. I'm a privileged white female with income and savings. That’s an easy position to be in to get rid of the things you don't need. I have the luxury of being able to buy the food I need or walk into a restaurant to have it made for me, while so many people in the world need to stock up large volumes of food to be able to afford eating in principle. I also have a credit card to fall back on in an emergency while most people in this world do not.

I have funds to survive and that’s an enormous privilege. Nonetheless, I recently feel that all these things are dragging me down and complicate my life instead of giving me freedom to spread my wings. I still feel the lifestyle of less is better than the endless consumerism we suffer from where buying and hoarding stuff (which doesn’t make us happy) has now become standard.

This is part one of a series of blog posts on minimalism. You can link to part two and three here:

part 2: My Experiment With Minimalism: SPACE CLEAR OUT

part 3: My Experiment With Minimalism: TO-DO LIST AND MY ENVIRONMENT CLEAR OUT

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My List Of Incredibilities

This is an exercise and an experiment I learned about just not very long ago during the time I took 'Leaving your Comfort Zone Course'. The idea is to come up with your own 'list of incredibilities'.

A list of incredibilities is a (long) list of desired events which you think would never happen to you. So these are pretty much 'miracles' which you'd love to experience but do not believe you can - like a trip around the world, or a house in Bali or a date with - say - Jon Kortajarena.

So take a sheet of paper (open a blank screen), relax, give yourself a complete freedom and knock yourself out - write them all down! Aaaallll of them!! There is nothing to worry about - they are incredibilities after all! Let your imagination loose!

The next step is to share your list with your friends or close ones. Because if you do not let the Universe know about your list, how do you even hope they might come true? An option for the really brave ones is to share the list on their blog or in social networks - so that as many people as possible could see it (this would increase the chances for the incredibilities actually happening).

IMPORTANT: if you notice you are editing things based on who will see the list, stop immediately and rewrite! 100% honesty with yourself is the key thing here!

The exercise itself already helps you to realize a good couple of things about yourself, don't you think? :)

Now, reread.

You will see that actually you could make many of the items on the list come true. Possibly, there are even items you could complete by yourself within the near future without any help from outside. Are there such items in your list? If so, go make those things happen. Soon!

If you don't have any such items in the list - choose at least the ones for which you know where you could start. What we need are first steps. Apparently this is where the magic happens. From the time you make your first wish come true, you will start making connections, you will find yourself in the right circumstances, useful coincidences will happen. But your actions need to come first. This is the list's activation if you want.

And yes, it is a bit like magic and we might not know how this works. But if it does work - who cares?

So here goes (drum roll...),(not to say I'm not scared of sharing the whole thing, but here I jump)...

Ladies and Gentlemen, the list of Olga's incredibilities:

0) Discover your essence, your inner purpose
1) Become a freelancer, with work completely independent from location
2) Quit my old boring job
3) Move to work in Bali
4) Become a digital nomad - being able to work from and travel to any location
5) Travel through South East Asia
6) Become an online entrepreneur
7) meet a business partner
8) Publish your articles
9) Publish a book
10) Your website has more than 1000 visitors per day
11) Write lots every day (3000 words per day)
12) Learn to write quickly and derive pleasure from it
13) You will receive a freelance job offer
14) Travel around the world
15) create a new cool website
16) learn Wordpress
17) Learn to code!
18) Visit Costa Rica
19) Cruise in the Caribbean
20) Visit Mauritius
21) Go to Madagascar!
22) Win lottery :)
23) My articles will be loved by the readers
24) Spend a month in New York
25) Go to the Antarctics
26) I will come up with a couple of brilliant ideas for short stories
27) Go hiking in Iceland
28) Visit Thailand
29) Go to South Africa
30) Visit Kruger Park
31) Do the bungee jump
32) Go to Australia
33) Write for a respected paper
34) Go to Cuba (before it is too late...)
35) Move to another part of London
36) road-trip in the West part of the US
37) Go back to India
38) Visit an Ashram
39) Do something that brings purpose
40) Find like-minded individuals and work together
41) Learn to take really good quality photos
42) Spend some time in Amsterdam
43) Swim with whale sharks
44) Dive in the caves again
45) Travel through South America
46) Spent time in Porto and explore Northern Portugal
48) bring up Lidia to be a curious and open individual
49) find inner peace

P.S. I created this list a couple of weeks ago, in my notebook, with a HUGE intention to share it. But immediately after life got super busy and with our travels to Dubai, me finishing the course, Lidia's illness and us going to Poland it took me a while to share it. I still need to tell you that already one of the points above came true - we are going to spend some time in Amsterdam together with our close friends and their little daughter in June.

Either way, let see how this magic thing works - I will keep you guys updated!

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LIVING ON THE EDGE - PART 3. Social Experiment: How I spent 2 weeks outside my comfort zone

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Update: This post series have been published as an article 'Why I Spent 2 Weeks Outside My Comfort Zone' on TurnPoint educational start up website. You can check it out here.

My 'Getting out of your comfort zone' project has come to an end. It is a pity in many ways - we grew very close with many participants and working together as a group made a huge difference - never ever did I get such great support and inspiration. And I will miss being this focused - the project's timeframes kept me well motivated and organized.

The biggest lesson I learned from this programme perhaps is the fact that if I focus on a goal and take consecutive steps in its direction for at least 2 weeks in a row I can achieve HUGE results. I almost couldn't believe that during these two weeks I've done things I've been planning to do for years, but was postponing them for various reasons, waiting for a 'better moment'.

Things happened for me when I overcame my fears. During these 2 weeks

- I have written my first ever short story and took a leap and shared it with the audience for feedback. And I got lots! People actually not only took their time to read the story - but to analyse it in great detail. I could never expect anything similar - it was a huge encouragement and their critique was extremely helpful.
- I have met with other writers in my borough and learned there is nothing scary about calling myself an 'aspiring writer'. That I'm not the only one attempting to write in a foreign language. And that like-minded people can give you a very positive drive! I am meeting them again this week this time to share my story and hear their thoughts.
- I have written an article and dared to send it to a number of publications - let's see what happens next.
- I have restarted this blog, and gave it a tiny makeover. Doing this made me realise how much I'd missed it!
- I have signed up for the writing camp at NaNoWriMo in April and just can't wait to benefit from close work with like-minded people again.
- I have joined the gym and go there every working day during lunch break now. It feels gooood :) And my initial target of 30 swimming pool's lengths currently stands at 40 and I'm not stopping there!

One of the most important things I got out of this game, was understanding that it is absolutely necessary to share my plans and dreams with other people. Previously I was more of a I-will-tell-people-when-I've-already-made-it kind of girl. The universe needs to know about my plans and goals, because this is the way I can get the support and can share ideas. During the recent couple of years I’ve learned my lesson - without the support and participation of others I'm not getting much further ahead. People shared so many useful things with me after they leaned about my dream and their support still keeps me going.

You are probably guessing what I will tell you next. Yes, all magic happens outside of your comfort zone. Your development is there too. And the best people you will ever meet are there as well. And all the new places and new people will become your comfort zone in the end. In fact it will happen rather soon.

As I continue the journey outside my comfort zone my adventure becomes more and more fascinating every day. I am starting to make bigger steps towards freedom. And I can't wait to see what will happen next because my personal experiment is not over yet.

Acknowledgements: 'Getting out of your comfort zone' is a project led by Svetlana Pokrevskaya on her blog (in Russian). This post has been inspired by her articles.

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LIVING ON THE EDGE - PART 2. Social Experiment: How I spent 2 weeks outside my comfort zone

Update: This post series have been published as an article 'Why I Spent 2 Weeks Outside My Comfort Zone' on TurnPoint educational start up website. You can check it out here.

This post is a continuation of the social experiment on leaving your comfort zone I'm currently being a part of.
The idea of the game is based on the players taking a closer look at our daily behaviours to identify what it is that makes us uncomfortable and overcome it - yes, by doing it more often. As simple as that - gradually turning the zone of our discomfort into our comfort zone, widening our personal boundaries, working on our current limitations.

I was responsible for coming up with a 2-week strategy on how I would do this. My plan was simple - every day get out of your comfort zone. I made a list of things to do which included items ranging from talking to strangers (even if to ask the time) to going somewhere alone and saying 'no'. I topped my plan off with some healthy practices I wanted to make a part of my routine but never got down to doing -I finally signed up for the gym and started to wake up earlier.
The project gradually became my motivation. I made my goals public to other participants and had to report on the progress every second day. The results came along unexpectedly quickly.

Back in the days of my inner struggle and lack of self-worth - before I started to play with my comfort zone - I found a perfect course run by a group of enthusiasts on a tropical island. The course aimed at helping the participants transition out of a boring job to doing what they love. No matter how ideally it suited my situation there was no way how I could afford it, not to mention the cost of the flight. While I was still working on finalizing my goals for the comfort zone game I got a contest notification into my mailbox. Guess what the main prize was? The winner got to attend my dream course for free. On condition of publishing a video of herself telling a story, sharing it on social media and getting voted for. The person who collected the most votes would win the course.

I will just say that it was extremely hard to overcome my fears, the shyness of being on camera, the inability to make and edit videos, to talk to the audience, fears of not being voted for - they were countless! The only reason which made me make that video was the promise to myself I had made - every day to get out of my comfort zone. And I did it. I made the video and posted it before I could delete it. And it wasn’t even the hardest thing. The hardest was getting in touch with several hundreds of my friends asking them to vote for me and telling them – yes, I want to change my job, in fact I am going to change my life! And it all paid off - I won the course.

At first it was hard to get out of my comfort zone and I had to remind myself I need to do it at least once a day. Then I learned how to do it differently - I started to analyse my responses to situations. Is it because I'm busy that I do not want to go to this new place? Tired? Or is it me being afraid? If I was completely honest with myself in 99% of cases it was the latter. So I mercilessly directed myself towards the source of my fears. When you approach the matter consciously and understand where the discomfort is coming from it becomes much easier to handle it, as you understand that the fears are artificial and there is nothing really to be afraid of. Nothing terrible can happen. While something amazing just might. And most probably it will!

I have one more week to go withe the project... It's a tough game we play! Come back here soon to find out the results of the experiment.

Acknowledgements: 'Getting out of your comfort zone' is a project led by Svetlana Pokrevskaya on her blog (in Russian). This post has been inspired by her articles.

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LIVING ON THE EDGE - PART 1. Social Experiment: How I spent 2 weeks outside my comfort zone

image via here

Update: This post series have been published as an article 'Why I Spent 2 Weeks Outside My Comfort Zone' on TurnPoint educational start up website. You can check it out here.

Recently I've become increasingly unhappy with where my life was going. At first I couldn't get it, I just couldn't find the reason. When I looked at it - everything seemed fine. I have a good education, an interesting job, loving family, financial stability, good work-life balance. Yet my life seems pretty... well, ordinary.

I kept thinking about it and tried to analyse what it is that I am missing... Where have the butterflies gone? I realised I do not remember when was the last time I was looking forward to getting up in the morning.. Remember how when you were a child you never wanted to go to sleep, how you were waiting impatiently for the next day's arrival? And as soon as you woke up the next morning and opened your eyes - you jumped out of bed and rushed to meet it? How life was interesting and exciting? How you enjoyed every second? I don't remember it that much now.

I thought it was high time to look at myself from within. And admit how many internal issues and complexes I have, how all of them elaborately intertwine with my many fears and unaccomplished plans and prevent me from living to the fullest. Worst of all I got used to staying within my comfort zone so much, that doing something a little uncomfortable became a major issue. I often simply decided not to do it. It was much easier to say - I am just unlucky (a sociopath, too young, too old, too afraid, had a difficult childhood, this is not my thing, it won't work, I shouldn't go against my nature, I'm too busy - select all that apply).

My inner struggle at its peak, I stumbled upon this online project - or rather a game - titled 'Get out of your comfort zone. Now.' 'This is for me!' - I thought, and signed up for it immediately - before my mind embarked on overanalysing it and having any second thoughts..

I will keep posting about my progress here as the game unfolds. Stay tuned.

Acknowledgements: 'Getting out of your comfort zone' is a project led by Svetlana Pokrevskaya on her blog (in Russian). This post has been inspired by her articles.

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The Only Time An Artist Fails Is When He Stops Working

No fear.

You are what you believe you are, and then do what you’re led to do, “your calling,”and if you aren't doing it, that’s when you fail, never when you’re actually doing it. No work of art is ever going to be as great or the same as all others, or as bad either. But if you aren't reaching for it at all, when you let someone or the whole of humanity steal that dream of your work, block your vision, hold you back even a little from what’s been given to you at birth, and likely long before, that’s when you've failed miserably.

Ironically, when you’re following your dreams and giving everything you have to them, there is no failure, there is no defeat, there is merely a journey to manifest something deep inside you, often hidden in your subconscious. The degree to which you fulfill your dreams is up to you, to how hard you’re willing to work at them, to how fiercely you’re willing to focus on them. But the first thing you must do is never let anyone steal them from you. You must have iron rhino skin and a determination as impregnable as Fort Knox. And then you won’t be daunted by anything or anybody.

via Medium

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Photo by Alex Webb


work madness and fluffy guinea pig happiness, foggy mornings and last autumn leaves, natural disasters and friendly reunions, misty grey, sterling blue and cosmic purple, big bug necklaces and Мастер и Маргарита, after work delights and Cartier-Bresson, Odile or Odette?, the month of mOVEMBER and the dream of Mexico, 41th floor view of London and no more eating animals.


What are your plans for this weekend? I've not got much on my mind apart from sleeping, being lazy, having pajama coffees, hitting the Tate Modern and Design museum..

Have a good weekend and smile - you're designed to!

Take a Bite

I've been looking forward to this for a while - a walk in the Central park, an evening at the Met, a day at the Metropolitan museum of art, getting to know the Greenwich Village, and Harlem maybe?.. oh, and taking pics of those fire escapes.

It's been a while since I've been to NY. I'd like to rediscover it. I know it will look, feel and taste different.

The below for me is the quintessence of how I remember and imagine NYC ('cause now it's more of 'imagine' than 'remember', i guess). Let's see if this turns out any different.

Do you have any tips? What is worth doing in NY in mid-December? What sort of vibe does it convey?

image via here

If you are looking for a flight to New York - check this page out.

Good Morning!

Good morning to you wherever you are, whatever you are doing. Make a stop to enjoy some minutes of calm Sunday morning, without rush, without thinking what needs to be done, without planning ahead.


Photos by Arek

Old Days...

Celebration Of Life

Last weekend, somewhere to the West of London. Very cute newly born american coot chicks - learning how to swim.








Photos by Olga&Arek

Notting Hill

Some photos from the trip to ... Notting Hill. Yep, one needs to use one's travel limitations to one's benefit. I was never the one to talk much about the country I live in - I could usually go on about the country I've been to for hours instead. It seems it's the time to change.. :)

So here is Notting Hill - or rather its popular Portobello Road area - in spring, when the weather is still chilly but the greenery is already in full bloom. On Saturdays Portobello Road turns into a Market, one of London's notable street markets, known for its second-hand clothes and antiques.





One of my favourite London clothes shops AllSaints Spitalfields was founded right here in Notting Hill.



Portobello market also offers a great choice of good food and is a good place for coffees - I even managed to find some sweets from the chocolate factory from my native town in the Russian shop here - can you imagine?




Spring is definitely the best season in the UK. It's climate gives the plants such a huge potential to grow - I have never seen such a variety and multitude of plants anywhere - including exotic ones - growing just like that in the middle of the street, park or passage - seemingly without any effort or help from outside. And if they do get help - they turn into magnificent gardens I will never get tired of taking pictures of. We are invited to a flower show this weekend(!), so I will definitely be posting some pictures of that soon.


All photos by Olga&Arek